33 Life Lessons Learned Living, Learning & Working Abroad for 10 Years
33 years. 13 countries. 19 addresses. Here are 33 life lessons I’ve gleaned over the past 33 years living on the planet earth, especially the last decade living as a “stranger in a strange land” in Japan, Bangladesh, and Taiwan. I hope they offer you some vicarious expat wisdom, and more importantly, impetus to move abroad yourself.
01) Happiness is a Choice
When I first watched The Power of Myth at the age of 12 (what can I say, I have a cool mom), most of Joseph Campbell’s truth bombs about life, death, and purpose flew right over my little noggin. But as I’ve grown older, experienced difficult life trials, and been presented with ever more responsibilities and social expectations, his advice to “follow your bliss” has become increasingly powerful. Like everyone, I’ve made the mistake of getting caught up in jobs, relationships, and habits that don’t benefit myself or the world, but thanks to Joe’s advice, I’ve always managed to snap myself out of unfulfilling cycles and get back on track by asking myself, “Are you following your bliss or just doing what’s easy and expected of you?”
02) True Happiness Only Exists in the Present Moment
Following one’s bliss sounds great on paper, but very few of us ever experience “it” for more than a few fleeting moments before our minds rush in to spoil the spiritual party. But therein lies a hint to why it’s so hard to capture bliss, fulfillment, happiness, peace, transcendence, enlightenment, or whatever you want to call it: this state of consciousness can only be experienced, not thought. And equally important, this state can only be experienced right now, not at some point in the future.
03) Rule Your Mind or It Will Rule You
The problem is that experiencing the “now”—and through it, true happiness—is impossible when you are under the control of the ego, and almost all of us are, almost all of the time…
04) Wherever You Go, There You Are
In addition to foolishly seeking happiness in a future it can never experience, the ego also searches for it in an elusive there it can never find. It doesn’t understand that happiness can be experienced anywhere, anytime, no matter where you are, what you’re doing, or who you’re with. When one is controlled by the go, you can cover the entire globe and never find the fountain of bliss. Bliss requires a change of consciousness, not zip code.
05) Don’t Confuse Your Options With Your Choices
Whenever we find ourselves stuck in a rut, feeling bad about life and our place in it, the first human instinct is to blame our woes on other people and external conditions. We feel imprisoned, believing we can’t be elsewhere or do otherwise. In reality, there are almost always myriad choices about what to do in any given moment if we are in the proper frame of mind to see them, with many paths out of our personally created—or at least maintained—hell. But even when choices truly are slim and the external reality truly grim, we always have a choice about how we respond. We always have a choice about what state of consciousness we bring into this world.
06) No Amount of Having or Doing Can Create a Lasting Sense of Being
Stuff, stuff, stuff. Tasks, tasks, tasks. They fills our minds. They fill our days. They fill most people’s entire lives. But having more stuff and doing more things will never make you truly happy. Buying that shiny new _____ (fill in whatever you’ve been lusting after) might make you feel good today, but any happiness it provides will be fleeting. And though doing certainly trumps having, it too can only provide temporary happiness. You can’t buy or act your way out of unhappiness. True happiness is a state of being, not a consequence of owning more stuff or doing more tasks.
07) Mindful, Love-Filled Action Changes the World, Not Prayer
Although I am usually a cheerful, optimistic person, I am not a big fan of the “just think positively” form of optimism. It strikes me as highly selfish that some people genuinely believe they can affect the outcome of events just by “praying hard enough” or “sending out positive feelings into the universe”. If prayer or meditation makes you feel better, great. Do it. They are both powerful tools for calming the mind, lowering stress, and increasing focus. But be aware that it’s the mindful, love-filled action and interaction that happens after you pray or meditate that really changes the world, not the warm fuzzy feelings themselves.
08) Ignorance Plus Arrogance is the Most Dangerous Combination
Despite unprecedented access to information, I am constantly disappointed by how many people demonstrate a combination of ignorance and arrogance. I used to think that Americans had a patent on this blend of blind, passionate belief, but after traveling and living abroad, I now know that this dangerous cocktail can be found the world over…
09) Myths are Powerful Devices, But Devices Nonetheless
Though I am not a member of any particular organized religion, I do find value in many of their core teachings, especially when they are stripped of their dogmatic overtones and interpreted within their historical, pragmatic contexts. Regardless of one’s spiritual beliefs (or lack thereof), we can learn a lot of sage life lessons from the earth’s various religious texts and practices. Each of them represents a given culture’s attempt to explain our world and our proper place in it, evolving within particular historical, geographical, and socioeconomic contexts that shaped their teachings.
10) Religion and Science Can Both Be Twisted to Serve Any Purpose
The Crusades. Witch hunts. Slavery. Human history is full of horrific practices justified by the prevailing religious texts of the time. It’s easy to look back now and say that these are but cases of ignorant bigots “citing scripture for their purpose”, but what about today? The same exact thing is still happening! Fundamentalist Christians are fighting to block gay marriage because “it’s in the Bible”. Before you use religious dogma to justify your homophobia, why not actually ask yourself that question on your WWJD wrist band. Do you really think Christ, the paragon of love and acceptance, would be against two loving, committed individuals joining in holy matrimony?
11) “Consensus” is Not the Same Thing as “Truth”
The more I read, learn, experience, and experiment, the more I realize that most people are wrong about most things. I am not saying that people are stupid. On the contrary, I believe most human beings are capable of amazing feats of intellect and creative problem solving if they have the guts to question what they’re told and stand alone when necessary. The problem is not a lack of brains but balls.
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